Blogging has fallen way by the wayside recently. There’s lots of reasons for that – but the main one has been that I’ve been out of my depth with a writing project. Last November I was commissioned to write a report about the huge challenges that climate change and the global food price spike pose for African smallholder farmers. The commission fit with my strategy of trying to do at least one intellectually challenging project a year- and one that directly contributed to the common weal.
It went pear-shaped from the very beginning. The week after I signed the contract the pound collapsed by about 30% against the Euro. Despite professing willingness my contractors couldn’t find the extra funding for me to attend a state of the art conference in Addis Abada (not a “jolly” – though I have never been to that part of the world- but a chance to get engaged with the networks of people engaged in these discussions). I also realised I was dealing with a group of stakeholders with quite divergent views about the opportunities for addressing these challenges and that it was important to see them all. So in middle of December I did a whistle stop tour, traveling the length and breadth of England, on cold, wet and windy days, to visit all the stakeholders to catch their takes, their experiences and key messages. We had a stakeholder meeting in March in which the terms of reference were rewritten and some additional funding offered.
I realized how out of my depth I was in terms of the nuances of emphasis of what the donor community should be doing, the role of NGOs and lobby groups, the extent to which African governments and international research and finance institutes are contributing to solutions or just perpetuating their own budget lines and legitimacy. The world of development aid is a complicated one, full of organizations innovating and /or trying to justify their existence. Add on to that the whole world of UN joint task forces, private philanthropists (e.g. the Gates Foundation whose African budget now exceeds that of USAID) and pan-African initiatives (which also often reflect very different views- with those of say South Africa and Nigeria being very different from those of, say, Chad or Mali) and the whole framework of organizations seeking to address climate change.
I hit information overload. For a few weeks I was unable to process all this information into a coherent set of arguments. And, because my livelihood is dependent on producing a coherent report, this created a second level of stress – about how to pay the bills this (last and next) month. At the insistence of my line manager I submitted a second draft today. It only contains 80% of what I think should be in it – but there is a huge sense of relief about getting another set of eyes to look at it – criticize it if need be –and getting the project finished. I feel I have gone well beyond what I was paid to do – but when I am doing something that I think is going to help save the planet (and/or maintain my intellectual reputation) I go well beyond the bounds of what is reasonable effort (possibly more about self exploitation and how to avoid it to follow later).
This past month I have canceled a lot (not all) of my social engagements because of the stress this project engendered. These next two weeks I am going to chill a bit- do some light editing work – catch up with some admin, some of those missed engagements and try to live up to my goal of spending at least an hour a day outside of buildings and urban spaces.
It's the end of semester here in Wageningen. it feels the same way for me too. Feel like I have submitted an (unfinished) PhD. It's a useful reminder of what many of my clients must go through before they submit texts to me.
Friday, 26 June 2009
Monday, 1 June 2009
Inburgering
Today I met a former Pakistani colleague from a basic (and man was it basic) Dutch language training course - from some 4-5 years ago. He was a PhD student then but was sufficiently gifted to get a 4 year post-grad appointment here. He was walking with his wife and kid along the street, and I made a conscious 'faux-pas' (in terms of Islamic etiquette). I shook his hand - and then hers. And I could see he was quite pissed off with me - especially as he knows that I have visited Pakistan and have some familiarity with Islamic etiquette. I figured - well hey you've been here for six years now - time to accept some western customs - women are people not chattels.
And within this brief encounter lies a dilemma for all ex-pats- to what extent should you maintain your own cultural identity and norms and to what extent should you adapt? I know that if I were to leave the NL (either to return to the UK or to move on) there would be many positive things about Dutch culture that I would miss (one example being the respect given to cyclists). Yet equally there are many things about this country that I still find annoying after six years or so - and in fact as time goes on they become more annoying- (like their small beer glasses and belief that half the glass should consist of foam).
As an ex-pat one has to strike a delicate balance between maintaining a sense of your own cultural identity (nobody loves a chameleon) and to blend into another culture. It's often not an easy balance to strike.
And within this brief encounter lies a dilemma for all ex-pats- to what extent should you maintain your own cultural identity and norms and to what extent should you adapt? I know that if I were to leave the NL (either to return to the UK or to move on) there would be many positive things about Dutch culture that I would miss (one example being the respect given to cyclists). Yet equally there are many things about this country that I still find annoying after six years or so - and in fact as time goes on they become more annoying- (like their small beer glasses and belief that half the glass should consist of foam).
As an ex-pat one has to strike a delicate balance between maintaining a sense of your own cultural identity (nobody loves a chameleon) and to blend into another culture. It's often not an easy balance to strike.
Monday, 18 May 2009
Days in the life
I recently joined one of the local Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) Schemes, de Nieuwe Ronde. You pay an annual subscription (175E or so per adult) and can harvest whatever you want of the in-season vegetables, fruits and herbs that they have available. I volunteered here one afternoon a week over the first two summers that I was in Wageningen- so this feels like a bit of a homecoming. This year I will probably only help occasionally - but it will be healthy to get out of town and into the garden once a week or so and get back in tune with what is seasonally available.
In the first weeks of May there was only asparagus, spinach and rhubarb - but over the coming weeks more delights will come on stream. Harvesting requires a little more organisation than picking bags from the shelves at the supermarket. You need at least two carrier bags; one for the leafy crops, another for the root crops (if you mix the two you spend ages washing the soil off the leafy crops) and some plastic boxes if you want to harvest berries. A sharp knife helps gets a good clean cut on leaf crops. I also like to take my camera and record the changing seasons. This week was a school holiday so there was an informal scarecrow making workshop too.
It's good to rekindle a feel for where one's food comes from, to pull potatoes out of the ground, pick strawberries and wait for the first leeks. It ties me back into a sense of seasonality and reverence for nature, providing a welcome contrast to living a life mediated by portals and browsers. More photos and maybe some seasonal recipes to follow in the coming months.
Wednesday nights is open platform at one of the bars in the ground floor of the student flats. The talent (musical) there is usually of a very high class, the clientele (and performers) very international and English is the language of choice (which makes for a much more relaxing evening out). These Filipino guys (below) play almost note perfect version of Beatles' ballads. And when the evenings over the drummer doesn't need a van (or to be sober) to get his kit home- he just loads into a bakfiets (a sort of delivery trike) and cycles home
In the first weeks of May there was only asparagus, spinach and rhubarb - but over the coming weeks more delights will come on stream. Harvesting requires a little more organisation than picking bags from the shelves at the supermarket. You need at least two carrier bags; one for the leafy crops, another for the root crops (if you mix the two you spend ages washing the soil off the leafy crops) and some plastic boxes if you want to harvest berries. A sharp knife helps gets a good clean cut on leaf crops. I also like to take my camera and record the changing seasons. This week was a school holiday so there was an informal scarecrow making workshop too.
It's good to rekindle a feel for where one's food comes from, to pull potatoes out of the ground, pick strawberries and wait for the first leeks. It ties me back into a sense of seasonality and reverence for nature, providing a welcome contrast to living a life mediated by portals and browsers. More photos and maybe some seasonal recipes to follow in the coming months.
Wednesday nights is open platform at one of the bars in the ground floor of the student flats. The talent (musical) there is usually of a very high class, the clientele (and performers) very international and English is the language of choice (which makes for a much more relaxing evening out). These Filipino guys (below) play almost note perfect version of Beatles' ballads. And when the evenings over the drummer doesn't need a van (or to be sober) to get his kit home- he just loads into a bakfiets (a sort of delivery trike) and cycles home
Moments in time
I had a small 'MTV moment' the other day. I was slowed to a halt in one of the immigrant quarters of Utrecht looking for a parking place and an arabic sounding pop song came on the radio. Three Turkish girls came out of a shop heading for their car (whose parking space I wanted ), heard the music and just started dancing around my car waving and smiling, putting on a show of joy for the world, each other and for me.
A friend had a comparable story. He was on a first date with a woman he had been interested in for some time. They went to a dance class then onto the pub where they talked for a couple of hours. At some point she lent over and started snogging him - and the whole bar burst into applause! More of a Woody Allen moment?
A friend had a comparable story. He was on a first date with a woman he had been interested in for some time. They went to a dance class then onto the pub where they talked for a couple of hours. At some point she lent over and started snogging him - and the whole bar burst into applause! More of a Woody Allen moment?
Monday, 4 May 2009
The week in view
Few words to offer this week. I'm too busy "life-processing". Locations: Wageningen, Schiedam and Scheveningen 
Sunday, 26 April 2009
Walking the Netherlands
Tiel to Dodewaard / Hemmen NS (24km)
The next weekend I decide to take on the next leg of the Lingepad.
Crossing the Rhine on one of these floating bridges - on a summer day it always feels like the start of a holiday - even if it's just a day trip. My car had been parked under a cherry tree for a week and was covered in blossom which flew off in different directions with every gust of wind - as if I had just been to a wedding.
And the sun brings out some wonderful blossoms - this one simultaneoulsy demonstrating two great Dutch passions - for bikes and gardens
It was hot (I mean hot) leaving town, so I packed sunscreen and 2 litres of water. But two hours into the walk the sky became cloudy and hazy and the wind got up - but these guys still seemed to enjoy themselves, the more so with a force 6-7 wind.
And here a little house that looked so dilapidated, with cracks in the plaster, a decaying thatched roof and blistered paintwork work that I had to pinch myself to realise I wasn't in France or somewhere in Southern Europe
The Dutch love their livestock - even if cutenesss is it's only redeeming factor
All day long there is a a parade of hyper-modern and extremely ancient farm machinery along the dyke. I suspect that there must be a local show planned somewhere. Here are 15 children in a gypsy caravan being towed by what I guess is a 10 hp tractor.
Lest we forget the church has always been strong here - for good or for ill. Here on a sunny day one sees the positive side.
Five and a half hours - 24K - not bad going for my first serious walk of the year (at least for a fifty year old chain smoker ). The last four k hurt a bit but this year I plan to get out to the mountains much more and a bit of flat level walking is useful training.
The next weekend I decide to take on the next leg of the Lingepad.
Crossing the Rhine on one of these floating bridges - on a summer day it always feels like the start of a holiday - even if it's just a day trip. My car had been parked under a cherry tree for a week and was covered in blossom which flew off in different directions with every gust of wind - as if I had just been to a wedding.
And the sun brings out some wonderful blossoms - this one simultaneoulsy demonstrating two great Dutch passions - for bikes and gardens 
It was hot (I mean hot) leaving town, so I packed sunscreen and 2 litres of water. But two hours into the walk the sky became cloudy and hazy and the wind got up - but these guys still seemed to enjoy themselves, the more so with a force 6-7 wind.
And here a little house that looked so dilapidated, with cracks in the plaster, a decaying thatched roof and blistered paintwork work that I had to pinch myself to realise I wasn't in France or somewhere in Southern Europe
The Dutch love their livestock - even if cutenesss is it's only redeeming factor
All day long there is a a parade of hyper-modern and extremely ancient farm machinery along the dyke. I suspect that there must be a local show planned somewhere. Here are 15 children in a gypsy caravan being towed by what I guess is a 10 hp tractor.
Lest we forget the church has always been strong here - for good or for ill. Here on a sunny day one sees the positive side.
Five and a half hours - 24K - not bad going for my first serious walk of the year (at least for a fifty year old chain smoker ). The last four k hurt a bit but this year I plan to get out to the mountains much more and a bit of flat level walking is useful training.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Walking the Netherlands
Easter weekend. The church bells stop chiming for three days and if, as I do, you live within sounding distance of them it feels like time has stood still. It has also felt like time stands still whenever I turn on my laptop- which was reacting with the speed of a hamster on barbiturates. (The technical reason for a lack of blogging recently - but now fixed).
A friend is shortly going to move to Spain - after much planning - and not a few setbacks. We decide to go for a walk to catch up with each other's news before he leaves.
Our plan to do a leg of the Lingepad is abandoned - so instead we do a tour around Hemmen, a hidden part of the Betuwe, just across the river from where I live. It gives a good opportunity to see the fruit trees in blossom and to catch up with each other's lives and plans.
Like this tree we are marked by the vicissitudes of life (and the fickleness of love)- unlike it we are still standing and growing stronger.
A friend is shortly going to move to Spain - after much planning - and not a few setbacks. We decide to go for a walk to catch up with each other's news before he leaves.
Our plan to do a leg of the Lingepad is abandoned - so instead we do a tour around Hemmen, a hidden part of the Betuwe, just across the river from where I live. It gives a good opportunity to see the fruit trees in blossom and to catch up with each other's lives and plans.
Like this tree we are marked by the vicissitudes of life (and the fickleness of love)- unlike it we are still standing and growing stronger.
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Extreme shepherding
As an apology for a long absence here is something to lighten even the darkest of days. A colleague and reader of this blog sent me this link a few days ago. I loved it. I think these men could have a new tourist attraction on their hands.
Saturday, 21 March 2009
Mama's taking me to the zoo tomorrow
Spring officially begins today! From now on the days will be longer than the nights. Its been becoming more pleasant the last few weeks - going home more frequently in the light - rather than the dark - being able to hang my laundry on the balcony again in a reasonable hope that it will dry there (rather than having a clothes horse cluttering up my limited living space - or dragging them down to the launderette to use the driers). On one or two days it has even hit 20 degrees.
My one disappointment has been that, of the eight balcony boxes I planted up with bulbs in November, only five showed any signs of life on my return. I guess the local bird population dug up and ate the others, despite me offering them luscious fat balls to feed on during the winter. Next year its barbed wire and razor blades!!
Today I went out with my camera - for only about the second time in six months. A friend invited me to the zoo - with his family - to celebrate his birthday. It felt strange to be part of a family gathering where I didn't really belong - but warming to be welcomed into the bosom of someone else's family, even if only for a few short hours - and a good opportunity to practice my Dutch. He and I have had some real arguments in the past few months, and this was very much a welcome and symbolic olive branch.
A major tragedy occurred at the zoo today - one of the twin polar bear cubs that were born in January, drowned in the morning. The zoo prides itself on being one of the few that is succesfully breeding polar bears. But today the mother was lying over the carcass of her young offspring in a clear state of mourning. The zoo made the brave (I think) decision to leave the carcass in the pen (acknowledge death) and allow the mother to grieve, for however long necessary. More cynically they might be aware of how deeply a bereaved polar bear's ire might run when tryng to remove the corpse of a recently deceased offspring.
Elsewhere the balance of nature seemed to be running more smoothly. Loads of healthy Dutch kids running around and getting excited about seeing eliphants or tigers, or just being allowed to play with sand and water and get dirty and wet.
There were at at least three occupied storks nests. Storks are widely seen as a symbol of fertility and good fortune. In Poland in which, by virtue of being a catholic country, fertility and good fortune are more related - nearly every farm house we went past had a pole designed to attract storks and presumably increase the catholic birth rate.
Here in, the more rather more calvinistic, Rhenen- in the user friendly farm animal compound (where the goats come up to you asking to be stroked) I heard a father call out to his daughter (or son?) called Karma. I couldn't help but wonder if (s)he was an unplanned member of the human family. Was there a stork pole on top of their apartement?
Elsewhere there was a rather sad looking group of lions.
The placard said that lions rely on their lionesses (note the plural) to catch their prey - although the males always have first pickings of the carcass. They also can mate up to fifty times day. That made me decide a) to go to my butchers to ask about the availability of fresh antelope and zebra meat and b) reprioritise my reincarnation choices.
My one disappointment has been that, of the eight balcony boxes I planted up with bulbs in November, only five showed any signs of life on my return. I guess the local bird population dug up and ate the others, despite me offering them luscious fat balls to feed on during the winter. Next year its barbed wire and razor blades!!
Today I went out with my camera - for only about the second time in six months. A friend invited me to the zoo - with his family - to celebrate his birthday. It felt strange to be part of a family gathering where I didn't really belong - but warming to be welcomed into the bosom of someone else's family, even if only for a few short hours - and a good opportunity to practice my Dutch. He and I have had some real arguments in the past few months, and this was very much a welcome and symbolic olive branch.
A major tragedy occurred at the zoo today - one of the twin polar bear cubs that were born in January, drowned in the morning. The zoo prides itself on being one of the few that is succesfully breeding polar bears. But today the mother was lying over the carcass of her young offspring in a clear state of mourning. The zoo made the brave (I think) decision to leave the carcass in the pen (acknowledge death) and allow the mother to grieve, for however long necessary. More cynically they might be aware of how deeply a bereaved polar bear's ire might run when tryng to remove the corpse of a recently deceased offspring.
Elsewhere the balance of nature seemed to be running more smoothly. Loads of healthy Dutch kids running around and getting excited about seeing eliphants or tigers, or just being allowed to play with sand and water and get dirty and wet.
There were at at least three occupied storks nests. Storks are widely seen as a symbol of fertility and good fortune. In Poland in which, by virtue of being a catholic country, fertility and good fortune are more related - nearly every farm house we went past had a pole designed to attract storks and presumably increase the catholic birth rate.
Here in, the more rather more calvinistic, Rhenen- in the user friendly farm animal compound (where the goats come up to you asking to be stroked) I heard a father call out to his daughter (or son?) called Karma. I couldn't help but wonder if (s)he was an unplanned member of the human family. Was there a stork pole on top of their apartement?
Elsewhere there was a rather sad looking group of lions.
The placard said that lions rely on their lionesses (note the plural) to catch their prey - although the males always have first pickings of the carcass. They also can mate up to fifty times day. That made me decide a) to go to my butchers to ask about the availability of fresh antelope and zebra meat and b) reprioritise my reincarnation choices.
Thursday, 19 March 2009
In absentia
No intention to not blog for a month- I just got very busy. My planned two week stay in England turned into three weeks, as I was making such progress it felt a waste to lose the momentum. In that time winter has turned to spring and I have completely emptied and cleaned my father's flat, got it redecorated and recarperted - the decorator said that the flat smelt better after I got rid of the last (and most detoriated) carpets. At the same time I have been trying to keep my business on a level kilter- keeping one major (and intellectually demanding) project on the go and picking up on four or five new clients' requests. Also "processing stuff" about where my life / career etc came from and where they are going - how 'love let me down' and how, in what feels like, an emotional wildernesss, I might find the time, energy and motivation to try again. That hasn't left me much time to blog about the relative merits of the UK / NL public transport systems etc. etc.
Some of these issues (especially the last) still need to be resolved. My stay in the NL is teaching me so much about efficiently managing the resources that are available to me, yet at the same time offers me so little inspiration about how to relax, enjoy my life and not let work and money dominate my life. That's a paradox - because one of the things that attracted me here was the laid back attitude of Dutch people to work, with most people in my circles not working Fridays. Seems like I have way longer to go get these things in balance. Listening to and supporting others going through similar growing pains helps this process.
Some of these issues (especially the last) still need to be resolved. My stay in the NL is teaching me so much about efficiently managing the resources that are available to me, yet at the same time offers me so little inspiration about how to relax, enjoy my life and not let work and money dominate my life. That's a paradox - because one of the things that attracted me here was the laid back attitude of Dutch people to work, with most people in my circles not working Fridays. Seems like I have way longer to go get these things in balance. Listening to and supporting others going through similar growing pains helps this process.
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